No one who really likes being told what to do. Yet parents need to give advice and guidance, especially to their teens. So do friends and colleagues give advice to each other. How can we do it without such a heavy hand that produces more resistance and even opposition than understanding? How can we teach lessons that are actually accepted with appreciation and grace? Is there a way to get across our points without being judgmental and demanding?
Ten Ways to Give Advice that is Accepted (at least considered!)
These suggestions work very well with kids but also with adults. Try them in your family and in the work place. Find tune them to fit your style and personality as well as the temperament of the person you are speaking to. The goal is to help a child, teen, friend, or colleague in a warm giving way that truly benefits them. They’ll get that feeling from your approach and be appreciative.
Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. is a psychoanalyst with specialized clinical training in infant-parent, child, adolescent, and adult psychotherapy. She has been on the faculties of New York University and the Society for Psychoanalytic Study and Research, among others.
She has written extensively on parenting for various publications, including the Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, The International Journal of Infant Observation, The Inner World of the Mother, Newsday’s Parents & Children Magazine, Long Island Parent.
She also wrote her popular column, PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE, at Moms Magazine and has been a parenting expert for numerous publications such as Good Housekeeping.. She currently writes for Active Family Magazine (San Francisco) and blogs for Huffington Post.
Her new book is Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in Your Child’s Behavior.
Visit Dr. Laurie’s website: http://lauriehollmanphd.com/